You have probably seen the phrase "third place" a lot lately. It turns up in videos about loneliness, in articles about the high street, and in long arguments about why nobody bumps into anyone any more. The idea is older than the discourse, and Britain has had its own version for centuries: the pub. This post explains what a third place is, why the UK is losing them, and how to actually use one when meeting people feels harder than it should.
What is a third place?
The term comes from the American sociologist Ray Oldenburg. Your first place is home. Your second place is work. A third place is everything in between: the cafe, the library, the barber shop, the community hall, the pub. It is somewhere you can turn up without an invitation, spend a little or nothing, and be around other people without needing a reason.
Oldenburg argued that these places do quiet, important work. They are where strangers become familiar faces, and familiar faces slowly become friends. Nobody organises it. It happens on its own, through repeat visits and small talk.
Researchers who study British social life often point to the pub as the clearest example we have. It sits in the middle of the community, it is open to all sorts, and its whole point is being together in one room.
Britain is running low on third places
This is where the numbers get uncomfortable. According to the British Beer and Pub Association, 161 pubs closed across England, Scotland and Wales in the first three months of 2026 alone. That is almost two a day, and 26% more than the same period last year. Over the past five years, the UK has lost around 2,200 pubs on a net basis.
Each closure is a business story, but it is also a social one. In the Open Arms report from Loughborough University and the Campaign to End Loneliness, 86% of people surveyed said that when a local pub closes, the whole community can suffer. Libraries, youth clubs and community halls have been shrinking too. The result is fewer rooms where you can simply be around other people.
The loneliness numbers behind the trend
Loneliness is not an abstract worry. In England, 7% of adults say they feel lonely often or always, according to the government's Community Life Survey for 2024/25. The figure is highest for young adults, at 9% for people aged 16 to 24. City life does not help as much as you might expect: people in urban areas report more loneliness than people in rural ones.
The picture is global. The World Health Organization reported in 2025 that 1 in 6 people worldwide is affected by loneliness, and linked it to around 100 deaths every hour. So if you want more company than you currently have, you are not odd. You are in very large company, and it is worth acting on.
We have written before about dating app fatigue and why so many people are taking breaks from swiping. The third place idea is the other half of that story. Swipe apps are built for conversations across a whole city. A third place is built for the room you are already in, and many people find that the easier place to start.
The pub was built for this
The Open Arms research also found that 64% of respondents saw the pub as one of the main places where people in their area can socialise. The same research makes a point worth repeating: going to the pub is not really about what is in your glass. Plenty of regulars, older ones especially, go for a hot drink, a bite to eat and a chat. The room is the product.
That is what makes a pub different from a coffee shop full of laptops. Conversation is expected. Sitting at the bar is an open door. A quiz team short of one player is an invitation. Even a two minute chat with the person behind the bar counts, and the research suggests those small moments genuinely take the edge off loneliness.
How to actually use a third place
Knowing the theory is the easy part. Walking into a room where you know nobody is the hard part. A few things help:
- Pick one place and go back. Third places work through repetition. The second visit is easier than the first, and by the fourth you are a familiar face.
- Go when something is on. Quiz nights, live music, darts, board games. A shared activity gives everyone a reason to talk.
- Lower the bar for what counts. You do not need to leave with a new best friend. One short conversation is a win.
The first hello is still the hardest step, and that is the exact gap Ember is built for. Open it in your browser at a partner venue (it is a web app, so there is nothing to download) and you can see who else in the room is open to meeting someone new. Send a wave, and if it is mutual, you both unlock a match reward at the bar and a natural reason to say hello. Waves are private, and the whole night resets within 24 hours, so nothing follows you home. Ember does not replace the third place. It just makes the first hello easier.
You can see how a night works on our nights page, or find the details in the help centre.
Quick answers
Is the pub really a third place if I do not drink?
Yes. A third place is about the room, not the glass. Most pubs serve tea, coffee and soft drinks all day, and the Open Arms research found plenty of regulars are there for food, a warm room and company.
What if I keep going and nothing happens?
Give it a few visits, and pick the busier nights. If starting conversations from cold is the sticking point, that is the problem Ember exists to soften. It shows you who at the venue is open to meeting people tonight, so a hello is welcome rather than a gamble.
Does Ember cost anything?
Not for you. Ember is free for guests, because the venue pays. If your local is not on Ember yet, you can point them to our venues page.
The short version
Third places are not a nostalgia project. They are infrastructure for a less lonely life, and Britain still has tens of thousands of them, warm and lit, at the end of the street. Pick yours, go twice, and see what happens. And if you would like a hand with the first hello, see how Ember nights work.